


Touch and figure it out

by Cottonness



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Pining, doten are roommates, johndo are dumb and in love, mark is johnny's younger brother, yutae are johnny's best friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:22:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29089734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cottonness/pseuds/Cottonness
Summary: Johnny’s lips turned into a small smile before he dipped towards Doyoung, and the next second, he felt Johnny’s soft lips on his. Sure, Doyoung had imagined what his first kiss was going to be like: soft, chaste, warm, maybe even sweet. And his first kiss was, all that, but even better. He had always thought Johnny’s lips were pretty, but his plump lips on his was a sensation his mind had never been able to come up with; his lips were sweet like warm honey, and Doyoung felt his whole self turn into a puddle.(Or: Johnny and Doyoung are watching the fireworks, and Doyoung wonders what it's like to be kissed.)
Relationships: Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 11
Kudos: 89
Collections: johndofest - round one





	Touch and figure it out

**Author's Note:**

> Written for johndo fest, prompt #12:  
> johnny and doyoung spend new year together watching fireworks. then doyoung suddenly wonders how it feels to kiss someone cause he hasn't done it before. johnny is thrilled to give doyoung one.
> 
> Dearest prompter,  
> Thank you for submitting such a wonderful prompt! I hope I was able to do your prompt, johndo, and this fic some justice. I had a lot of fun writing this fic, and I hope you'll have as much as fun reading it!

Doyoung likes order. He likes things to be set in place, ready for him to just follow them. Which is precisely why he likes traditions; he likes his cultural traditions (like chuseok holidays), likes his family traditions (like recreating family portraits every couple of years), and likes the traditions he has picked up and began following over the years.

Which is why Doyoung was more than bummed when he realised he couldn’t just skip a couple of days of college for chuseok holidays, or fly all the way back to Korea for New Year’s because flights during holiday are always insanely expensive and he wasn’t going to spend an outrageous amount of money just to go home for a couple of weeks.

It wasn’t too bad though, because Doyoung found his group of friends who were more than happy to spend the holidays with him, friends who appreciated and respected his traditions. He was thrilled when he met his group of Korean American friends, a group of people who were extremely welcoming and immediately invited Doyoung to their monthly Korean dinners as soon as they heard his name.

While they weren’t the traditions he had grown up with, Doyoung was happily settling into his new environment, making new traditions with his new friends. But it did feel like a stab in the heart when some of them went back to their family homes during extended breaks, leaving Doyoung and the few other students who couldn’t go back like him in their tiny dorm rooms. It was okay, though. He was happy where he was.

(Or so he convinced himself.)

“Doyoung, you’re not going back to Korea for the New Year’s right?”

Doyoung groaned at the sound of New Year’s - it wasn’t like he had anything against the holiday, it was just that he didn’t want to admit the year was already coming to an end, and that he was going to be spending it again, without his family. He had managed for the past two years, he was sure he’ll find himself getting drunk with his other friends but _still_. He did miss spending New Year’s with his parents and brother, waking up to the smell of his mother’s cooking and getting money from his relatives.

Johnny laughed as the younger man slumped his shoulders and nodded his head. Johnny was one of the many people Doyoung had met through the university’s Korean Society - he was Korean American, born and brought up in Chicago. He was proud of his Korean roots, always interested to learn more about the culture and the traditions. It was safe to say literally everyone in the Korean Society had some sort of crush on Johnny, whether it was big or small, and he was always the centre of attention. Doyoung and Johnny had gotten close after Johnny had shyly admitted his Korean wasn’t too great and asked Doyoung if he could teach him. Doyoung was surprised and taken aback - he knew Johnny preferred to speak in English, hence his name, but Johnny seemed to genuinely want to speak Korean better, and Doyoung just couldn’t say no to his puppy eyes.

“Yes, because capitalism is a bitch and flights to Korea are so fucking expensive.” Doyoung mumbled, taking the tongs away from Johnny and using it himself to flip the meat. It’s not like he minds Johnny doing it, it just made him feel better to be doing something than having someone else do it for him.

But again, Johnny revelled in giving, and before Doyoung could even flip the second strip of pork belly over, the tongs were taken away from his hands, and Johnny got back to work at a faster pace, chuckling. “So you don’t have plans for the New Year’s?”

“Not exactly,” Doyoung huffed, moving his now empty hand to grip his can of beer and bringing it to his lips. “I’m going to get trashed with Jungwoo and Ten and then we’re going to go annoy Jaehyun after midnight.”

It wasn’t a Plan but it was a plan, and Doyoung was looking forward to it. He liked his friends, liked to get trashed enough to the point where he was able to blame everything on the alcohol. He didn’t do it much, but New Year’s was an exception and he was going to let himself have a break.

Johnny nodded slowly as he put the tongs down, his eyes focused on the strip of meat which was slowly changing into a dull brown under the heat. “Jungwoo said he’s not planning to go back to Korea either, and Ten said he has to focus on his portfolio over break so --”

“Why don’t you come home with me?” Johnny suddenly blurted out, cutting Doyoung off.

Doyoung stopped sipping on his beer, his right hand which was holding the can freezing midair as it took him a moment to recollect himself. Gulping down the now lukewarm liquid in his mouth, Doyoung set his drink down before looking back at Johnny. The older man seemed somewhat uncomfortable as he fidgeted with the tongs, nudging at a strip of pork belly that definitely needed to be cooked for longer.

Doyoung cleared his throat, an attempt to get Johnny to look at him. Johnny peaked up, biting down on his lip while Doyoung made a show of smoothing out the paper apron he had on around his neck. “You want me to come home with you?”

“Yes,” Johnny said a beat after, his eyes glued back onto the meat. Doyoung felt his eyebrow quirk as he began to rap his fingers on the table.

“To Chicago?”

“Yes,” Johnny said again, his voice a little louder. He sighed, before putting the tongs down, looking up at Doyoung. “I’m not-- You’ve always said you wanted to come to Chicago and I don’t know, you said you wanted me to drive you around my hometown and I thought why not this winter? Because, you know, I’m going home and you can’t but like, if you don’t want to --”

“John, you’re rambling.” Doyoung didn’t even try to hide the smile on his face as he shook his head, smiling at Johnny who looked surprised, his eyes widening. “Of course I’ll love to go to your home with you. If your parents wouldn’t mind, of course.” Doyoung added. Johnny’s eyes lit up as he began nodding eagerly, a big smile stretching across his face.

“My parents would be more than happy to finally meet you - they think you’re the only reason why I’m not eating takeout everyday.” Doyoung let his head fall back as he laughed. He suddenly felt lighter - he wasn’t sure if it was the beer or maybe, just _maybe_ , it was the thought of being able to spend the New Year’s with Johnny.

“Well,” Doyoung started as he put his elbow on the table, letting his face rest on his palm. “It is. Who’s going to cook for you, if I don’t?”

Johnny rolled his eyes as he grabbed the big scissors on Doyoung’s side, reaching out to quickly cut up the meat into edible sizes. Doyoung’s mind wanders back to when Johnny literally had no clue on how Korean barbeque worked, and sat there blankly while Doyoung did everything for the two of them. Now, it was Johnny who did all the work, refusing to let Doyoung hold the tongs or the scissors for more than a second.

“You’ll burn yourself, Doyoung!” Johnny had once said when Doyoung complained about Johnny not letting him do anything. Doyoung had rolled his eyes and scoffed, but truth be told, he couldn’t help but feel a little giddy inside. While he was the youngest out of two at home, he rarely had the chance to be cared for and often found himself taking control and finishing things for him and everyone else. It was easier that way, he had told himself; if he messed up while doing something, it was his fault and no one’s else. It was easier to be hard on himself than to blame someone else.

But Johnny obviously didn’t care for any of that, would have immediately rolled up his sleeves and got to work if he found Doyoung trying to do something alone. At first, it was a little unsettling - Doyoung wasn’t used to someone gently coaxing things out of his hands and having to watch him do it for him, but after a while, Doyoung found himself looking for Johnny when he had to get something off of a shelf that was a little too tall for him, or calling for Johnny when he wanted to go to the supermarket to stock up for the upcoming week.

It was nice, Doyoung had come to realise. Nice to have someone look after you, to take care of you. And Johnny didn’t ask for anything in return (it was a given Doyoung was going to cook for him anyways - Doyoung always overcooked and he loved watching how expressive Johnny was as he ate his food), he simply smiled and did anything Doyoung asked him to.

ღ

“No, John, I’m not going to sit in a car while you drive for 12 hours. It’s stupid, takes way too much time, and dumb.” Doyoung huffed, banging Johnny’s mug onto the counter for effect.

Johnny sighed taking the mug away, rubbing his hands around the warm porcelain. “Doie, it’s not a big deal, I swear. I’ve done it a couple of times before and I honestly don’t mind.”

Doyoung shook his head. It wasn’t that he didn’t mind going on a semi-road trip with Johnny. He would enjoy it, no doubt, but the thought of not being able to do anything while just sitting next to Johnny driving would definitely drive him insane. He shuddered at the thought. “No, John. We’re taking the plane.”

“Doie, that’s gonna cost us like, 200 bucks each. We could save that money up and use it for something else! Besides, you’re not going back to Korea because of how expensive it is.”

“Do you even know how much it costs to go back to Korea?” Doyoung huffed, taking a sip of his own tea before continuing. “200 dollars compared to it is literally nothing - it’s not like I’m broke, Johnny, you know this.”

Johnny rubbed his eyes - it was definitely too early in the morning to be arguing with Doyoung. While Johnny had woken up only a mere ten minutes before, Doyoung had been up from 6 am in the morning. He was already dressed, made breakfast for the both of them, and smacked Johnny on the back to get him up. It was a routine for them, to go eat dinner, get too tipsy to drive back home, and always ended up crashing at either one of their dorms. They had opted for Doyoung’s dorm last night, only because his roommate Ten, was at his hookup’s, leaving an empty bed for Johnny to crash on.

“I don’t care what you say, but we’re booking tickets today.” Doyoung said, striding across the small room to unplug his laptop where it was sitting on his small desk. Johnny blanky watched him open his laptop, typing something in. As much as he never mentioned it out loud, it was oddly domestic; to be waking up in Doyoung’s small room, drinking coffee that Doyoung made when he himself didn’t even like coffee. Eating breakfast that Doyoung had made for him in his kitchen, watching him make a fuss around his small space.

“Fine,” Johnny said after swallowing down his toast with coffee. “But that means I’m buying all your meals till then.”

Doyoung made a choked up sound, immediately raising his head from his laptop. “What? How does that even make any sense!”

“Yes it does,” Johnny said, standing up to move his empty dishes to the sink. “You’re going to waste 200 dollars just to come to my parents’ house. The least I can do is buy your meals till then.”

Doyoung was staring at Johnny in disbelief, his laptop and plan to buy plane tickets forgotten. Johnny bit the insides of his cheeks, trying not to laugh at how the younger looked like a rabbit with his mouth open and teeth showing.

“You- you can’t just, it doesn’t make sense!” Doyoung spluttered out, slamming his laptop shut and rushing all the way to the sink where Johnny was washing his and Doyoung’s dishes. Johnny sighed, stopping the tap for a second. “Doyoung, I don’t care if it doesn’t make sense to you, it makes sense to me.”

“Fine, but not all meals. One meal per day.” Doyoung said after a moment of silence, watching Johnny put the tap back on. Johnny sighed - he knew this was the closest he was going to get to Doyoung giving in “Fine. I pay for either your breakfast, lunch, or dinner.”

Doyoung huffed out loud, obviously not happy with their agreement, sending Johnny one more dark look before going back to his laptop. Johnny watched his friend, squinting at the screen and using his fingers to trace each line he was reading. He had once joked that Doyoung would be the type to read through privacy policies and the terms and conditions for every website he was on; Doyoung only scoffed, but a minute later pouted, saying “You never know what's going to happen.” The memory made Johnny smile, as finished washing up, pulling the rubber gloves off.

“John, your full name is John Jun Suh, right?” Doyoung called from where he was crouching over his computer. Johnny hummed in response, filling his mug with coffee and adding hot water to Doyoung’s mug of tea before making his way where Doyoung was. “Almost done?”

Johnny handed Doyoung his mug, which he accepted with a small smile, nodding as he brought the cup to his lips. “Yeah, I booked us the flight that lands at 2 pm. I don’t want to get there too early and disturb your parents.” Johnny rolled his eyes, plopping on the couch behind Doyoung. “It’s technically my house too, it doesn’t matter what time we get there.”

“Maybe not for you, but for me. I have to make a good impression.” Doyoung said, lightly punching Johnny’s leg next to him. “Trust me, they already love you. I honestly think they’re more excited to see you than me,” Johnny mumbled, making Doyoung laugh out loud. There was something so addicting about Doyoung’s laugh, how clear and loud it rang through Johnny’s mind. He loved to watch Doyoung laugh, loved to hear him giggle and chuckle at the dumb things he said to him.

“Well,” Doyoung said after a moment, his cheeks a little flushed red from laughter. “I hope they’ll like me more.” Johnny smiled, reaching down to put his hand on Doyoung’s shoulder. “They will. Don’t worry.”

Doyoung smiled at him once more before he was up on his feet, fussing around his apartment while Johnny stayed on the couch, nursing his cup of now lukewarm coffee. _Why?_ His mind asked himself; why would Doyoung want Johnny’s parents to like him more, when he already told him they do? It wasn’t a lie, his mother was obviously elated to hear that Johnny was bringing Doyoung home for the holidays, and gushed about how excited she was to be able to meet him for the first time.

Johnny silently watched Doyoung as he moved around his small apartment, mumbling and muttering things to himself. He had grown so used to spending time with Doyoung, waking up in his apartment and eating his food he sometimes forgot what they were. Friends, he thought. He was supposed to be Doyoung’s friend, but sometimes, he wasn’t sure if they both stood on the same line.

ღ

“God, I hate airplanes,” Doyoung muttered as soon as he got off, swinging his duffle bag onto his right shoulder. Johnny sent him a wry smile, reaching over to fix Doyoung’s collar. “Don’t you wish you agreed on that semi-road trip instead?”

Doyoung scoffed, swatting Johnny’s hands away. He hoped he wasn’t blushing, especially with how close Johnny’s hands were to his neck where he was sensitive around. “No, I do not. Being in a car with you for 12 hours would have been worse.” Doyoung walked faster, leaving Johnny who was holding his heart in fake pain; he knew Johnny’s younger brother was at the airport to come pick them up, and he didn’t want to make him wait any longer.

“God, Doie, you walk so fast,” Johnny mumbled, taking big strides to reach up to him. “Yes, well, we don’t want to keep your younger brother waiting, do we?” Doyoung said, slowing down a little for Johnny to catch up. Not that he needed to - Johnny had awfully long legs and it was always Doyoung that was huffing and puffing behind him, asking him to slow down while the elder just grinned and walked even faster. It really didn’t help that Doyoung found Johnny’s smirk extremely captivating; it always ended up with Doyoung’s knees going a little numb, desperately trying not to stumble over his own feet, pouting while looking away.

“It’s fine, it’s only Mark,” Johnny said lazily. Doyoung shot him a look before opening his mouth. “Yes, your younger brother that I have never met before, who’s here to pick us up when he could be doing something else. Come on, John.”

With Johnny following closely behind, Doyoung scurried past the gates to where a hoard of people were waiting for their family members, friends, and guests. It hit Doyoung then, that he was in Chicago; he had obviously travelled to some states during his other breaks when he couldn’t afford a flight back to Korea or there was simply not enough time, but being in Chicago, Johnny’s hometown was obviously a whole different matter.

“Where is that little shit…” Doyoung heard Johnny mutter behind, surprising him for a second. It didn’t occur to him he had stopped in his tracks and Johnny had caught up, standing right next to him. He watched as the taller man fished out his phone from his back pocket, one eyebrow quirking up as he thumbed in his password. “Maybe he’s looking for parking.” Doyoung supplied, shrugging his shoulders.

“Well, he hasn’t texted or called so I would assume he’s still driving.” Johnny said, running a hand through his hair with his empty hand while scrolling through his contacts on his phone. Johnny brought his phone to his ear a second later, grumbling something about Mark never being on time. Doyoung didn’t mind it, surprisingly; he was an avid believer in arriving ten minutes before the designated time, but it wasn’t like he and Johnny had plans (or at least that he was aware of) after this, and he always found airports to be fascinating. The bustling people, especially as it was around the holidays as well, and seeing families and friends reunite around him did bring a smile onto his face, although he did desperately miss his own family back in Korea.

“Johnny!”

Startled, Doyoung turned around to see a young boy with floppy hair and a wide smile jogging towards them, waving his right hand in the air. Johnny scowled, but Doyoung could see the smile in his eyes and the grin that was coming to form on his lips.

Doyoung knew from the instant he met Johnny that he was used to looking after people, and when he asked him about it, Johnny had shrugged and said “I have a younger brother. He’s clumsy and I had to look after him a lot.” Doyoung remembered the particular moment very well, not because they had snuck out from an overcrowded house party for a dose of fresh air, but because there was a certain fondness in Johnny’s eyes that made Doyoung curious to who this younger brother of his was. Johnny was generally nice to anyone, he was good natured and naturally a very charming person, but how his eyes went gentle and even a little misty whenever he talked about his younger brother made Doyoung understand how important his brother was to him.

“You’re late, dumbass,” Johnny said the second Mark stopped in front of him, dragging his smaller frame into a hug. Mark, Johnny’s younger brother laughed as he let his older brother engulf him into a hug, wrapping his own arms around him as well. “Sorry, sorry, I couldn’t find anywhere to park.”

Doyoung smiled, watching the two brothers hug. A pang ran through his heart when he thought of his older brother back home; he and his brother were very close, and yet Doyoung had not seen him close to a year by now. It took a second or more before Johnny released Mark from his grasp, patting down his hair that was spiking up in random directions after Johnny had ruffled it. “Wow, dude, your head is like, flat af.” Johnny said a moment later, taking a step back to look at his work.

“Fuck off,” Mark grumbled, but there was no real bite in his voice and he was smiling. Doyoung had to smother down a snort, desperately trying to cover it with a cough; while Mark’s hair looked like a bird's nest a mere second ago, now his hair was smoothed down and did indeed look, well, rather _flat_.

The cough caught the attention of Mark, and Mark looked over to where Doyoung was standing, his round eyes getting even rounder and wider. Johnny laughed at his brother’s surprised face, pulling Doyoung by the arm to get him closer. “Mark, this is Doyoung. He’s going to be spending the New Year’s with us.”

Mark’s face broke into a smile, his cheeks rising and showing a row of pearly white teeth. “I was looking forward to finally being able to meet you! It’s so great to meet you Doyoung-sshi!” Mark’s smile was just as infectious as Johnny’s was, and Doyoung found himself smiling, reaching out to shake the younger man’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you too, Mark. Thanks for coming to get us today.”

“It’s no biggie,” Mark said, shaking his head. “Honestly, I’m glad I was able to get out. Mom’s running around the house and it was driving me insane.” He said, scrunching his nose. Johnny laughed, swinging an arm around his younger brother. “Bet she’s trying to get the nice plates out for Doyoung and everything,” Johnny said. Mark nodded, focusing his attention on Doyoung. “She’s super excited about you coming, Doyoung-sshi.” Doyoung felt the heat rise to his cheeks, fumbling around for the right words. “I’m sure it’s not because of _me_ …”

“Oh no, it’s _definitely_ because of you.” Mark said, cackling as he watched Doyoung’s cheeks flush. “She’s super excited to be able to meet you - keeps on saying the only reason why Johnny is still alive is thanks to you.”

Johnny snorted, swatting Mark’s head before trying to steer him away from Doyoung. “I’m an adult, thank you very much. I can take care of myself just fine.” It was now Doyoung’s turn to snort, not even trying to hide it. “Yes, of course, John. Do remind me, what was it that you asked me last week? How to use the rice cooker?”

“Hahaha hyung, you can’t use the rice cooker? Still? You’ve been living alone for like, four years now.” Johnny grunted, obviously tightening his grip around Mark’s neck. “It’s not like you can say anything - you can’t even make scrambled eggs for god’s sakes.” Johnny muttered, glaring at Doyoung for a second. “Come on, let’s get going.”

Doyoung followed Johnny and Mark while the younger led them towards his car, happily chattering the whole way. Doyoung was only half listening - after all, he had no idea who Donghyuck was and it seemed like Mark was excited to be spending time with his older brother. The O’Hare International Airport was busy, and people bumped into Doyoung as he grunted, adjusting his duffle bag on his shoulder.

“You okay there?” Johnny suddenly turned around, interrupting Mark. “Yeah, I’m good. I just keep bumping into people - “ Before Doyoung could finish his sentence, he felt the weight being lifted from his shoulders. Johnny had reached over and taken his duffle bag from him, quickly throwing it over his shoulder. “Come on, let’s go.”

Doyoung tried to keep his head low, his cheeks burning a little. It was the little things like this, things Johnny did so casually as if it meant nothing to him. Mark seemed unfazed by his brother’s antics as he began walking again, animatedly talking to his brother as he led them to the car. Maybe it didn’t mean anything for Johnny - after all, he always talked about how he was used to looking after people, taking care of them.

The ride to Johnny’s childhood house was a pleasant one, albeit a little bumpy, because Mark kept on laughing out loud to whatever dumb thing Johnny said. Doyoung sat in the back seat, letting his head rest on the plush seats while listening to the radio Mark had put on. Back when he lived in Korea, he had only ever listened to Korean music; now, under the influence of Johnny, he listened to Western artists and he found himself humming along to whatever was playing from the stereo.

“--young? Doyoung?”

It took a moment for Doyoung to remember where he was. He was in Chicago with Johnny, going to his house in a car his younger brother, Mark was driving. Johnny’s head was hovering over him, gently jostling his arm. “Doyoung? We’re here,” Johnny smiled softly, helping Doyoung out of the car. Doyoung was a little lightheaded from his nap, and he stumbled into Johnny’s arms, groaning as he tried to let his spinning head settle.

“Woah, be careful Doie.” Johnny said with a low chuckle, his big arms on his shoulders. Doyoung grunted, bringing his hand to his forehead, opening his eyes a moment later. “How long was I out for?”

“About 30 minutes,” Mark said from the side.The younger man was pulling out Doyoung’s duffle bag and Johnny’s backpack from the trunk of the car, wobbling a bit as he tried to close the trunk. Johnny snorted, taking his hand off Doyoung’s shoulders and going off to help his younger brother. “You were humming for a bit, and then you dozed off.”

Johnny took Doyoung’s duffle bag from Mark, bringing it over to Doyoung. “Do you want to rest a little bit more? I was thinking I could take you to go see my old school and stuff, but if you’re tired I can show you up to your room.”

“Thanks,” Doyoung mumbled, taking his duffle bag from Johnny. “And no, I’m good. I think the nap on the car helped.” Johnny nodded, smiling down at Doyoung. Doyoung felt his own lips curve into a smile - it was true, the nap did leave him feeling better and he was looking forward to spending time with Johnny at his hometown.

“Mom, we’re home!”

Mark yelled as soon as he pushed the front door open, leaving it open for Johnny and Doyoung. Johnny shook his head, and sighed, watching Mark kick his shoes off and clamber into the house, leaving his brother and guest. “Can you believe he’s almost legal? He acts like a teenager,” Doyoung smiled, fondly watching Johnny as he put Mark’s shoes together before calling out to his mother himself. “Mom! I brought Doyoung with me!”

He immediately heard the sounds of shuffling slippers, and in a blink of an eye, a woman with a wide smile on her face appeared out of the door, arms opened wide. _She looks like Johnny_ , Doyoung thought to himself before he corrected himself. No, _Johnny_ looks like _her_. Doyoung laughed out loud as he watched Johnny and Mark’s mother, a woman who was about two heads shorter than Johnny, pull her tall son into a hug. There was a wide smile spread across Johnny’s face, the lines that Doyoung liked to call whiskers on full display as he hugged his mother back.

“And you must be Doyoung,” In a matter of seconds, Johnny’s mother released her older son from her embrace and was looking straight at Doyoung. Doyoung unconsciously stood up straighter, fixing a polite smile on his face. “Hello, Mrs. Suh, thank you so much for inviting me and letting me stay with your family--”

Before he could finish his sentence, his speech more like, Doyoung was pulled into a hug by Mrs. Suh. She gave Doyoung a small squeeze on his arm, something Johnny often did as well before letting him go, her hand still on his arm. “Thank _you_ for looking after my Johnny - he’s quite hopeless in the kitchen, isn’t he?”

Doyoung found himself laughing out loud, nodding. “He really is terrible. I don’t think he’ll last a week on his own.” Doyoung caught Johnny rolling his eyes in the back, while Mrs. Suh laughed out loud, shaking her head.

“Youngho-ya, I thought I taught you better.” She chided, pulling at one of her son’s long arms. “No, mother, you pushed me out of the kitchen every time I stepped a foot in there.” Johnny said, sounding exasperated, all the while putting an arm around his mother’s shoulders. “That’s for the sake of the house and my life, son.” She said reaching up to pinch his cheeks.

It was adorable, how smaller and childlike Johnny looked next to his mother; he was obviously a lot taller than her or anyone else in his family according to him, but still. Johnny looked younger, with the small pout on his lips, as he locked eyes with Doyoung. “Traitor” he mouthed, making Doyoung laugh out more.

It was going to be a good winter break, Doyoung thought. He was sure of it.

ღ

The next few days went by in a whirlwind; by the time Doyoung realised, he had spent Christmas with the Suh’s and was pleasantly surprised when not only Johnny, but his parents as well, had gotten him a Christmas present. Doyoung was visibly flustered as he had nothing to give them, but Johnny’s father smiled, shaking his head. “You look after Johnny while he’s away at college. This is nothing but a token of our thanks.”

(Doyoung did almost tear up when he opened the gift and found a seat cushion massager - he was constantly whining about how bad his back pains were to Johnny and now he had the perfect solution for them.)

Besides spending a lot of time at the Suh household, Doyoung also met Johnny’s high school friends, people Doyoung had heard Johnny talk about but had never been able to meet. . “They’re jerks. You’ll like them.” Johnny had said with a smile before he introduced Doyoung to Yuta and Taeyong.

Yuta was somewhat intimidating with his sharklooks but had a beautiful smile and witty sense of humour that made Doyoung immediately feel at ease. Unlike his cold looks, Taeyong was sweet and soft, “a baby” according to Johnny.

“How did you guys become friends?”

Doyoung asked once they had settled into a restaurant. Johnny had gone to the bathroom, and Doyoung honestly didn’t mind being left with the two men he met for the first time earlier today.

Yuta snorted at the question, putting his water down. “I was going to ask you the same question, but oh well - I guess great minds think alike.”

Taeyong swatted Yuta’s arm before Doyoung could return the grin, rolling his eyes. “I moved here when I was, what, 12? and Yuta when he was 10,” Yuta nodded, staying silent to let Taeyong continue. “As you probably know, Johnny was born and raised here. He’s American, wasn’t like us, struggling to fit in and all that,” Taeyong takes a sip of water before continuing. “He was popular - in the volleyball club, surrounded by people all the time. I thought he wanted nothing to do with us, the outcasts; but I was wrong.” Taeyong smiled, staring at his glass of water. Yuta also has a fond expression on his face, looking faraway.

“He suddenly came up to me one day. I was scared, to be honest. That fucker’s scary when he just stands in front of you, you know? I thought I did something when he opened his mouth and started speaking in slow, broken, Korean. Said he heard I was Korean and that he was, too.” Taeyong chuckled, shaking his head. “He said he wanted me to tell him more about Korea because he’s only been there when he was younger, and asked if I wanted to hang out. I was scared but like, seeing him trying so hard to speak in Korean bloomed something in my heart.”

Doyoung smiled, imaging an overly tall and lanky Johnny trying his best to speak in Korean to Taeyong. He remembered when Johnny came up to him for the first time, asking Doyoung to speak to him in Korean to help him improve his own Korean; he wasn’t bad, and he was a lot better than he made it seem to be. It makes sense, Doyoung thought. Taeyong was the one speaking to him in Korean, helping him before Johnny met Doyoung.

“Then he started hanging out with us,” Yuta said a beat later, flipping through the menu. “His jock friends were surprised when he started sitting with us during lunch, but Johnny didn’t seem to mind. After a while, his jock friends warmed up to us too.”

“He’s a good person, our Johnny.” Taeyong said with a smile. Doyoung saw Johnny coming towards their table from the corner of his eye, and gave him a quick smile when their eyes met.

“I know.”

“Did you have a good time?”

Johnny asked Doyoung when it was the two of them. They had dropped off Taeyong and Yuta at their respective homes, promising to meet before the two went back to university. Both Taeyong and Yuta went to different universities in different cities, and the only time all three of them met back in Chicago was during extended breaks.

“I did, yeah.” Doyoung said quietly, fixing his gaze on the scenery outside the window. Johnny hummed in response, waiting for Doyoung to continue. “I like your friends.”

“I thought you would.” Johnny said, a smile on his face. “They’re both kinda crazy, but they have been my closest friends for, what? Almost ten years?”

Doyoung smiled, turning his head to look at Johnny. “They told me. I have some friends from high school back in Korea, but I don’t have many friends from my childhood that I still keep in contact with.”

Johnny didn’t say anything, keeping his eyes on the road in front of him. “To be honest, I don’t really talk to my friends from high school either,” Doyoung continued, thinking back to his high school graduation. He had promised all his friends he would keep contact with them, even when he went to the States, but it turned out to be harder than he had imagined. “I’m a little envious of you.” Doyoung said jokingly, lightly jabbing Johnny’s ribs.

“Well,” Johnny said after a while, glancing at Doyoung. “You have me now, right? As well as Jaehyun, Jungwoo, Ten, and well, Mark if you want. Yuta and Taeyong, too.”

Doyoung smiled, twisting in his seat to face Johnny. It was true, the past couple of years since he had entered university had opened new doors for Doyoung, and had allowed him to meet people he never would have been able to back home. He found friends who accepted him, made him feel at home, even when his family was miles away on a different continent. And most of all, he met Johnny.

“You’re a good person, Johnny.”

Johnny snorted, swatting Doyoung but Doyoung didn’t miss the red flush on his cheeks.

ღ

It was New Year’s Eve.

Doyoung closed his eyes, scrunched his nose as the cold wind swept by. He was sure the tip of his nose was already red, and he shivered as he huddled closer to Johnny on his side. Johnny didn’t say anything but brought Doyoung closer to him, wrapping an arm around his waist.

Like many Asian families, the Suh’s spent the New Year’s with each other. Taeyong and Yuta dropped by earlier in the day to rescue Johnny and Doyoung from Mrs. Suh who was frantically running around the house to get all sorts of dishes ready for the following day.

After they had a delicious dinner cooked mainly by Mrs. Suh, with Doyoung coming into help every now and then, Johnny had whisked Doyoung away to go watch the annual Navy Pier’s firework show. To be quite frank, Doyoung didn’t like crowds, and he certainly did not like drunk crowds. While Johnny usually seemed to have no problems being at the centre of attention at parties, he knew well enough that Doyoung wasn’t going to enjoy being surrounded by drunk strangers just for fireworks, and instead, took him to a more secluded area with only a few cars.

“Yuta and Taeyong should be here soon,” Johnny said as they got off the uber, helping Doyoung hop off the car. “I don’t know if Mark’s coming but if he is, he’s probably going to take an uber ‘cause I’m sure he was drunk and also Hyuck will come with him.”

Doyoung had definitely gotten closer to Johnny’s friends and his younger brother within the past few days, and he was also sure he was going to terribly miss them once they got back to their ordinary lives. Mark’s best friend, Donghyuck, was a pain in the ass but Doyoung found himself laughing whenever he was around, and found himself wondering if this is what its like to have a younger brother.

“You alright?” Johnny murmured, rubbing Doyoung’s arms with his own hands. Doyoung nodded, although he was freezing; he thought the cold weather back in Korea had prepared him well enough, but he was freezing in Chicago, and couldn’t understand how Johnny was walking around in a short parka. Doyoung rested his head on Johnny’s shoulder, pulling his jacket closer to him, protecting himself from the cold. It was terribly cold, and while Doyoung wanted to go inside and be doing anything but standing in the cold, he knew Johnny wanted to show him the fireworks and he wasn't going to do anything to let Johnny down.

A few moments later, Taeyong and Yuta arrived in an uber, thoroughly drunk and wildly waving at them with a bottle. Johnny grimacing, leaving Doyoung for a second to catch Taeyong who fell straight into his arms.

“Happy new year’s eve, Doyoung!” Yuta yelled, a little too loud for a sober Doyoung. Doyoung managed a weak smile, hugging Yuta back before he was suddenly faced with Taeyong, cooing as he came to pinch Doyoung’s cheeks. “You’re so cold!” The elder gasped, squeezing Doyoung’s cold cheeks with his own cold fingertips, making him squirm.

“Let go of him, Yong,” Johnny appeared a second later, pulling Taeyong off of Doyoung, hauling the smaller man behind him. Yuta was cackling about something next to Johnny while Taeyong whined about Johnny being mean. Doyoung smiled as he rubbed his own cheeks - Taeyong’s hands were ice cold, but the pinching did seem to somewhat warm them up.

Mark and his friends arrived a few minutes later, drunk and giggling. Mark was laughing out loudly, clinging onto Donghyuck and Jeno, a boy who reminded Doyoung of a samoyed. They were followed closely by Renjun who was shivering in the cold and Jaemin, who seemed to be more energetic than everyone at the scene combined. Before Doyoung could ask whether Mark and his friends needed any water, Yuta pushed a beer in Doyoungs hands, a cheeky grin on his face. “Countdown!”

The next few minutes went by in a flurry, Doyoung struggling to open his beer in the cold, Donghyuck laughing and then slipping to the ground, Renjun going down with him, Taeyong trying to help them, and the rest counting down loudly.

“3, 2, 1!”

“Happy New Year’s!”

The fireworks went up, the burst of colour painting the night sky, followed by the loud sounds of people’s shouts and laughter. Doyoung turned to his right to face Johnny, shocked when he saw Yuta and Taeyong kissing behind them. They quickly parted, giggling as Taeyong leaned onto Yuta’s chest.

“Happy new year’s, Doie,”

Doyoung was broken out of his thoughts when he heard Johnny’s voice, a small smile on his face. Johnny looked handsome under the night sky, the only source of light being the fireworks that were shooting up into the sky. His eyes sparkled, whether it was from the fireworks or his natural bright and clear eyes, Doyoung didn’t know but found himself lost in them for a second too long.

“Happy new year’s to you too, Johnny.”

Johnny’s smile broadened as he pulled Doyoung into a hug, letting the younger crush his face against his chest. Doyoung realised he had stopped shivering a while ago, probably from the beer as well as the heat Johnny was radiating off next to him. Doyoung turned to look at Mark, even more surprised to see Jeno and Jaemin kissing for a second, and then immediately being attacked by Donghyuck who was kissing everyone. Johnny laughed, reading the confusion off of Doyoung’s face, letting him go to look at his face. “Donghyuck always does that - he tries to kiss everyone on new year’s. He’ll probably come after you in a second, too.”

“Do you… do you kiss people too? On New Year’s?”

Doyoung asked, his voice a little strange to his own ears. Johnny pondered for a second, jutting his lower lip. “I...guess? It’s like a tradition, so yeah.”

“You’re not going to? This year, I mean.” Doyoung didn’t know why he sounded a little out of breath, why his heart was pounding so much, but he needed to know the answer. Johnny looked down at him, eyebrows furrowed. “It’s just a stupid tradition, it’s not like I have to do it, Doyoung.”

Doyoung hummed, looking away from Johnny - he didn’t know why, but he felt… let down? Upset? He tried to keep his eyes on the fireworks, when he heard Johnny’s small laugh. “Why? Did you want me to kiss you?” Doyoung felt the heat rush to his cheeks, whipping around to face the taller man. “Wh-what?”

“I don’t know, the rest of them already seem like they kissed each other. We’re the only one’s left.” Doyoung hated that he found the smirk on Johnny’s face attractive, hated that a part of him was actually contemplating it.

“It’s… it’s my first time,” Doyoung finally managed, his voice so small he barely heard himself. He didn’t know if Johnny had enhanced hearing or something, but Doyoung immediately noticed the flash of surprise that went past his face. “You first time? Like your first kiss?”

Doyoung didn’t know what was more embarrassing - that he was 21 and never had his first kiss yet, or the fact he was telling that to his best friend on New Year’s in his hometown. Doyoung nodded curtly, half wanting to hide underneath his turtleneck sweater and jacket. He was suddenly hyper aware of Johnny’s large hand on the small of his back, how warm and big his hands were compared to his.

“Do you… do you want to try?”

Johnny sounded hesitant, his eyes blown wide, biting down onto his bottom lip. He too sounded a little breathless, as Doyoung suddenly couldn’t take his eyes off of Johnny. They stood there for a second, just staring at each other until Doyoung gave a small, jerky nod.

He heard Johnny suck in his breath, and before Doyoung could say anything, brush it off, laugh it off as a joke, Johnny’s hands travelled to his chin, tilting it up. Doyoung’s mouth suddenly went dry, and he stood there helpless, staring into Johnny’s eyes. He had forgotten about the fireworks that were going on behind them, the chaos Donghyuck was causing while trying to kiss anyone, because all he could focus on was _Johnny_.

Johnny’s lips turned into a small smile before he dipped towards Doyoung, and the next second, he felt Johnny’s soft lips on his. Sure, Doyoung had imagined what his first kiss was going to be like: soft, chaste, warm, maybe even sweet. And his first kiss was, all that, but even better. He had always thought Johnny’s lips were pretty, but his plump lips on his was a sensation his mind had never been able to come up with; his lips were sweet and warm like warm honey, and Doyoung felt his whole self turn into a puddle.

He didn’t know how long they were kissing for, but Johnny pulled away a little too quickly for Doyoung’s liking. He almost let out a whine, but managed to stop himself with the limited self composure he had - Johnny was staring at him with a smile, his eyes glittering and a wide smile across his lips.

“How was it?”

Doyoung stuttered, trying to cover it with a snort. He looked away, hoping his red cheeks (and probably red neck, red ears, red _everything_ ) wasn’t too obvious in the dark. “It - it wasn’t bad, I suppose.”

“Not bad for a first kiss?” Johnny chided, his signature cat-like grin on his face. Doyoung swatted the elder’s chest (Johnny was far _too_ close to him, he needed to breathe), pushing him away. “I don’t know - but, well, I didn’t dislike it. It wasn’t bad.”

Johnny chuckled before he pulled Doyoung closer to him, letting him rest on his chest with a thump. Doyoung suddenly felt hot, his cheeks were burning and his turtleneck felt as if it were suffocating him, the scratchy material rough on his skin.

“I’m glad, Doyoung-ah.”

ღ

By the time Doyoung realised it, Johnny and he were boarding for their flight back to New York. The rest of their stay in Chicago flew by, and Doyoung had enjoyed every minute of it. They spent the rest of their time either sleeping when the sun went up and waking up in the evening, or meeting up with Johnny’s friends. Just as Johnny had promised Doyoung, he had a blast. Not a single part of him regretted coming to Chicago.

Doyoung grunted as he shifted his duffle bag higher up his shoulder - it had gotten significantly heavier compared to when he came - trying to keep it from sliding off his shoulder. Before Doyoung could keep trudging along, he felt his bag being lifted from his shoulder.

“What is this, a deja-vu?” Doyoung grunted as he turned around to face Johnny, who was towering over him. He cooked his head to the side, raising one eyebrow, seemingly confused. “What deja-vu?”

“Nothing,” Doyoung muttered, not bothering to fight with Johnny, huffing as he kept on moving. He heard Johnny mumble and mutter a couple of words behind him, obviously dissatisfied with Doyoung’s response.

While nothing between Doyoung and Johnny had actually changed since their kiss on New Year’s, _something_ had definitely changed. Or at least in Doyoung, something had. Doyoung himself didn’t know what it was, but every time he saw Johnny send a smile towards his way, stand a bit too close to him, or laugh with his whole body, his heart _lurched_.

Johnny always had no sense of personal space, never seemed to care how the people around him saw him, and while Doyoung was more or less used to his antics and had a certain fondness for him, always scoffing or laughing at the elder exasperatedly, he suddenly seemed to be hyper aware of whatever Johnny did. He felt himself tense whenever Johnny leaned forwards, grabbed or took something for Doyoung, and felt his cheeks flush at an alarming rate, suddenly at a loss for words.

“Doyoung, are you okay?”

Johnny’s question brought Doyoung back to reality, as Johnny’s worried face entered his vision. His eyebrows were furrowed, and his large hand was placed on Doyoung’s shoulder. And once again, Doyoung felt his cheeks grow hot as he cleared his throat, shaking his head to clear his thoughts. “I’m fine - just a little tired.”

He technically wasn’t lying; they had barely slept last night and Doyoung was truly tired. But at the same time, Johnny's worried expression and pouty lips were too much - he gently pushed Johnny away, a tingling sensation running through his spine when he touched his broad and firm chest.

"Okay," Johnny said, sounding nothing less than convinced. "You should try to get some sleep in the plane." Johnny gently gave another pat on Doyoung's shoulder before he took his hands off of him completely. Doyoung didn't want to admit he immediately missed his warmth.

The plane ride back was mostly silent, with Doyoung actually dozing off and Johnny immersed into an old book he found in his childhood room. It wasn't irregular for them to spend time together in silence; that was another thing Doyoung absolutely adored about spending time with Johnny. Everything felt so natural, and everything just seemed to slot together nicely without either of them having to try so hard to adjust to one another's presence.

Doyoung naturally woke up by the time the plane had landed, and while he had so much fun in Chicago with Johnny's parents and missed them already, he was thankful to be back in New York. He had to focus on his classes again - after all, he was here on a scholarship and couldn't afford to fail or let his parents back in Korea down.

"I'll get the uber." Johnny said, as Doyoung nodded gratefully, leaning on Johnny's shoulder to rest his head on auto-pilot. It was something they did so naturally, he didn't even think twice until he was assaulted by Johnny's cologne. Doyoung snapped up, immediately lifting his head from the elder's shoulder, startling the elder. "You alright?"

Doyoung nodded, muttering something about not wanting to sleep until they got back, but he was sure Johnny didn't believe him one bit, and to be honest, neither did Doyoung. Their uber pulled up a minute later, saving Doyoung from further embarrassment.

The ride home was again silent - Doyoung tried to tell himself it was because both of them were tired, but he also knew it was because of the weird attitude he had been giving. He tried to sort it out, tried to face it on his own but it made him feel as if he were queasy whenever his thoughts went back to the night Johnny had kissed him.

See, there was nothing wrong with the kiss; nothing at all. Doyoung couldn't have asked for a better first kiss, and while he had never been the type to imagine and dream for romantic situations, he did think he had a magical first kiss. On New Year's, freezing their ass off while watching the fireworks illuminate the sky with someone he liked? There was nothing that could top that, if you asked Doyoung.

_"someone he liked"_

"Oh god..."

Doyoung didn't even notice he spoke aloud until he felt Johnny's worried gaze on him once again. Managing a weak smile and a shake of his head, Doyoung looked away. Inside, he was freaking out: he felt his heart beating erratically, his hands were becoming clammy, and he could literally feel his whole face, neck, and ears burn red.

Oh _god_.

Why did it take him so long to realise?

Doyoung had never dated anyone before, or at least never dated or been in a serious relationship. He spent most of his high school years studying, nose buried in a book, not even bothering to take a second look at the people who confessed to him. He knew he had well, a lot of "admirers"; he had top grades in his school, student council president, and good looks. He had gotten used to putting on a sympathetic smile as he said "Sorry, I'm not interested in a relationship right now.".

Until the day of his graduation.

Obviously, Doyoung was in high spirits; he had not only managed to survive the three years of hell called high school but had also managed to accomplish his lifelong dream of getting into a university in the States. He was overjoyed, to say the least, and couldn't wait to leave Korea and start his university life in New York.

He remembers the day vividly, when they had finished their graduation ceremony and Doyoung went up to his old classroom for old time's sake, for the memory. To his surprise, there was a classmate - someone Doyoung shared mutual friends with, talked to every now and then also there. Doyoung said hi, animatedly talked to him until the classmate interrupted him.

_"I like you, Kim Dongyoung."_

He had said abruptly, surprising Doyoung. He immediately noticed the look of surprise and shock on Doyoung's face and smiled to himself before opening his mouth to continue.

_"I just wanted to tell you, before you and I moved on in our lives and never meet again. Congratulations, Doyoung-ah."_

He left a second later, and Doyoung was left surprised and speechless, their old high school classroom as the only witness as to what took place a moment earlier.

Doyoung remembers the shock? surprise? confusion? he felt that day. A part of him thought his classmate was teasing him, a bad joke. Another part of him told him it was real, and what happened on the day of graduation was _very_ real.

As his classmate had said, Doyoung never ran into him again, and before Doyoug could ever say anything, he was on his flight to New York, starting university life. He didn't think about him for a while, too busy trying to get his life sorted out in a new country, failing and successfully making new friends. The memories did, however, resurface when Jungwoo had very nonchalantly told him one day he too, was gay.

"I'm gay. What, can you see me dating a girl?" Jungwoo scoffed, waving his hand in the air, scrunching his nose. "Most of our friend group is gay too, you know."

That made Doyoung almost choke on his boba, needing Jungwoo to slap his back a couple of times before he was able to speak. "Really?"

"Yes, really. Why would I lie about this?" The younger said, rolling his eyes. Doyoung pouted a little - he never really thought about what his friends' sexuality were, as it wasn't something that affected their friendship.

"Ten is gay, Jaehyun is too, and Johnny. Oh wait, no Johnny is bi." Jungwoo said, tapping on his lips with his finger, looking at the ceiling in thought.

Doyoung must have been deep in thought, because he didn't notice Jungwoo was talking to him until he was nudged on his shoulder. "Hey, don't worry about it, okay? We don't care if you're not gay or not." Jungwoo had said, looking worried and somewhat guilty at the same time. Doyoung had smiled, shaking his head and saying it wasn't anything serious, deciding not to think about it.

And now, he was in an uber, going back to his shitty dorm room which he shared with Ten, caught in a crisis.

He never really knew what his sexuality was - he thought girls were pretty and guys were precious. He liked his friends, enjoyed listening to their dating horror stories, and didn't mind the blatant and obvious stares and attention he got from both guys, girls, and literally anyone whenever they went out.

Doyoung had always found Johnny attractive, not necessarily in a romantic way, but just, he was attractive. That was obvious enough. Johnny was tall, well built, and he was impressively strong. The amount of times Doyoung had flutters in his stomach whenever Johnny hauled a drunk and wobbly Doyoung over his shoulders -- okay, that wasn't a very platonic thought.

Again, Doyoung suddenly felt hyper, _hyper_ aware of being next to Johnny and every small movement Johnny made - whether it was moving in his seat, tapping his fingers on the windowsill - made Doyoung's breath hitch.

The second the uber pulled up and into a halt Doyoung bolted outside, pulling out his duffel bag with him before Johnny could offer to hold it for him. Johnny, who didn't seem fazed by Doyoung's bulky and hurried movements, trailed after him looking sleepy and soft as he rubbed at his eyes, making Doyoung's heart melt.

"You must be tired," Doyoung couldn't help but whisper, his hands reaching up to comb through Johnny's hair. Prior to Doyoung's Awakening, this was something they always did to each other; Johnny was like an overgrown puppy in Doyoung's opinion, and he revelled in getting attention and love from the people around him.

"Yeah, I think I'm going to hit the hay as soon as I get into my room." Johnny said, stifling a yawn as he fixed a sleepy smile with droopy eyes. "I'll walk you back to your dorm, of course."

Doyoung shook his head, gently pushing the long strands of hair out of Johnny's eyes. "No, you're tired enough. I can walk back by myself."

Johnny pouted and Doyoung felt his lips naturally turn into a smile. There were butterflies dancing around in his stomach and he felt fuzzy and warm, even when they were standing out in the cold. With some more convincing, Doyoung pushed Johnny towards the way of his building, and after watching the tall, slouchy figure retreat, Doyoung hurriedly made his way to his dorm, suddenly feeling a lot too cold.

"You're back! You made it!"

The second Doyoung stepped foot into his dorm, Ten's boisterous voice and energy surged from the other side. The small Thai stepped out of wherever he was, a bright smile on his face as he lunged himself at Doyoung. Doyoung laughed as he hugged his roommate back tightly, feeling oddly settled and comforted by the sight of Ten.

"How was Chicago? Johnny's parents? Were Johnny's friends hot?"

After Doyoung had stripped out of his heavy winter clothes and into sweats, Ten began to pester him with questions. Doyoung rolled his eyes as he climbed onto his bed, where Ten was already seated.

"It was cold. They were nice. And yes, Johnny's friends were both very good looking and fun to be with."

"So you enjoyed your trip,"

"Yep," Doyoung nodded, unlocking his phone to look for pictures to show Ten. Ten cooed and laughed when Doyoung showed him Johnny’s baby pictures he snapped from Mrs. Suh's album as well as the other chaotic photos they took during their nights out with Yuta and Taeyong.

"Oh, he's gorgeous," Ten said, stopping Doyoung from swiping to the next photo when he caught sight of a photo of Taeyong. It was actually a photo Johnny had taken on Doyoung's phone and Doyoung had to agree Taeyong looked like a work of art.

"He's Taeyong, one of Johnny's best friends." Doyoung said, letting Ten zoom in to have a closer look at the elder's chiselled cheekbones and jaw. "Is he single?" Doyoung snorted, grabbing his phone back. "I don't know, but he seemed chummy with Johnny's other best friend, Yuta." Ten pouted as he drooped his shoulders, only grinning a second later. "Well, I still wouldn't hesitate to shoot my shot if I ever get to see him in real life."

While Doyoung would have normally rolled his eyes and sighed exasperatedly normally, he found himself at a loss for words. Ten, immediately noticing something was off, scooted closer to Doyoung, a worried expression on his face.

"Doie? What's wrong?"

"How," Doyoung tried before clamming his mouth shut, swallowing down his saliva. "How did you know you like guys?"

The question must have caught Ten by surprise, as the smaller man blinked at Doyoung, his large dark eyes rapidly opening and closing before his mouth formed a small "o".

"Doyoung," Ten started slowly, watching Doyoung's face carefully. "Do you like boys too?"

"I- I don't know," Doyoung's voice was barely a whisper. He raised his knees onto the bed, chin resting on his kneecap. There was a faint blush across his cheek, his head hung low. "I never - I didn't and probably don't know for sure but," He took a deep breath before continuing.

"I think I like Johnny."

Doyoung heard himself gasp as soon as the words left his mouth. He quickly turned to face Ten who was staring at him with his wide eyes, blinking rapidly. They stared at each other for a second in silence, both afraid to break the silence until Ten cleared his throat.

“Well,” Ten said, straightening his posture, shifting to fully face Doyoung. “I think that’s great.”

Doyoung stared at him for a second longer, until they both began laughing, bursting into laughter, rolling on their backs. Nothing was supposed to be funny, and while Doyoung was left confused and afraid more than ever, he still couldn’t help but notice how his heart felt lighter.

“Are you going to tell him?”

Ten asked, once they had managed to stop laughing, now stuffing their mouths with pizza. They ordered pizza, too lazy to cook or go out to eat, and were lazily eating while watching netflix on Doyoung’s laptop (they definitely weren’t using Johnny’s account). Doyoung slowly continued to munch, taking his time to swallow down the food.

“I haven’t thought about that, to be honest.” Doyoung admitted, brushing the crusts off his hands. “I just - I don’t even really know what I want to be with Johnny.”

Ten nodded, taking a gulp of his now lukewarm coke before opening his mouth. “I mean, that’s fair. You only realised today and all.”

Doyoung sighed a little, his shoulders slumping at the movement. He reached for his can, drumming his fingers on the surface, the faint hollow sounds giving him some peace. “I think… I want to tell Johnny. Just because, I think he deserves to know, you know? I don’t think it’s fair for me, or fair to him, if I don’t tell him that I like him. He deserves to know, I think.”

Obviously, there was a fair chance that Johnny didn’t like him back, only saw him as a friend, maybe a younger brother at most. And while the thought of hurting the relationship he has with Johnny terrifies Doyoung, he also knew he wouldn’t be able to hide it from him any longer, anyways. Johnny always knew what was up with Doyoung, always magically seemed to be able to sense it if Doyoung was feeling the slightest bit off.

“I get that,” Ten said, tilting his head to drown down the rest of his coke and then crushing the empty can in his hand. “I honestly don’t think you have anything to be worried about, though. You’re special to Johnny. Always has been.”

Ten’s words startles Doyoung, but also makes his heart swell; because Doyoung isn’t dumb, he knows Johnny pays more attention to him than his other friends, but at the same time, the more logical side of Doyoung was telling him not to feed his own expectations.

“I’m asking because I’m genuinely curious, but what made you realise you like Johnny?” Ten asked a moment later, somehow managing to fit a whole slice of pizza in his mouth and devouring it down within seconds.

The memory of the kiss makes Doyoung’s heart flutter, and feels the tips of ears grow hot. “I realised, like _realised_ realised, on the uber from the airport today but…. I think when he kissed me on New Year’s Eve, it just all, slotted together?” Doyoung’s voice got smaller and smaller, burrowing his face in his knees. Ten jolted, suddenly jerking Doyoung and forcing him to look up at him.

“Doie! Your first kiss was Johnny, _and you didn’t tell me_?”

Doyoung started laughing again, apologising to Ten before he began to tell him the whole story. He was still nervous, he for sure had the jitters and the very thought of Johnny made him buckle up, but he oddly felt at peace.

ღ

“--and my mom was saying how she wished she could trade Mark for you,”

Johnny said as he put his glass of water down, chuckling while shaking his head. It brought a smile on Doyoung’s face too - although he only spent a little over a week with the Suh’s, he missed them dreadfully and wanted to see them again.

“I think my parents would be overjoyed to have a son like Mark, really. He’s cute.” Doyoung said, reaching for his glass of water. Johnny tutted him, wagging a finger at him. “Now now, Doie, we all know how much your parents adore you. Mark may be cute but his head is big and flat as fuck.”

Doyoung snorted at that, coughing a couple of times while managing to put his glass down. Johnny laughed, all the while reaching forward to tap Doyoung’s back. It was a little past 11, and the two were at Denny’s for brunch. It was a rather usual occurrence for Johnny and Doyoung to meet for brunch on the weekends, both not having anything better to do besides staying holed up in their rooms trying to finish their respective assignments.

To be honest, Doyoung was still feeling the nerves, had been jittery all week long. He had somehow managed to brush off all of Johnny’s invites to hang out, saying he had a shitton of assignments to do. While he technically wasn’t lying, he also did miss Johnny dreadfully and found himself almost reaching for his phone to ask if Johnny wanted to study with him.

But he needed the time away from Johnny. He needed time alone to sort out his own thoughts, and he also knew he needed to somehow surge the confidence to finally face not only Johnny, but his own feelings. Doyoung watched, a natural smile on his face as Johnny continued to talk about his week.

“I missed you, you know,” Johnny said after a beat of silence. Doyoung tried not to react, only humming. He suddenly felt warmer, hoping his cheeks weren’t betraying him. “I thought… maybe, I made things awkward. After the kiss, and all.”

Now _that_ took Doyoung by surprise. He jolted in his seat, whipping his head up to look at Johnny. Johnny was fumbling with a paper napkin, biting down on his lip, obviously avoiding Doyoung’s gaze.

“It - it was like I took advantage of you, right? It was your first kiss too - I didn’t mean it like that, fuck, this all sounded so much more put together in my head,” Johnny let out an frustrated grunt, his hands going up to rake through his long strands.

Finally, he looked up at Doyoung, taking a deep breath before he continued. “I like you, Doyoung. I know, it wasn’t fair for me to do that when I have feelings for you, but I swear to god, I didn’t mean it like--”

“Kiss me.”

The words left Doyoung’s mouth before he could even process it, surprising himself. Johnny looked even more surprised, his jaw hung open and was staring at Doyoung like never before. Taking a gulp, hoping his voice wasn’t shaky, Doyoung opened his mouth once more.

“Kiss me again. I want you to kiss me again.”

“Now?” Johnny sputtered out finally, his eyes bulging as he scanned around them. After all, they were in a relatively empty Denny’s at 11 am on a Saturday morning. But society and reputation be dammed, Doyoung wanted to be kissed by Johnny, right here and now.

“Yes, now. Kiss me, Johnny.” He sounded more confident, his voice louder and clearer, hopefully to Johnny’s ears too. It took a second or two before Johnny closed and opened his eyes, steadying his breath and muttering some words to himself before he leaned forward, cupping Doyoung’s face with his shaky hands.

And in that split second, it didn’t matter that there was a sticky table between them or if the waitress was giving them looks from the other side of the restaurant, because all Doyoung could see was Johnny’s warm and gentle brown eyes like pools of molten gold, could only feel Johnny’s warm hands on his cheeks, and the only thing he wanted was the man right in front of him to kiss him. Forever.

There weren't fireworks like the first time, and neither were they freezing their asses off in the cold, but Doyoung knew that his second kiss, and the many more kisses that he was going to share with Johnny from now on, were only going to surpass one another.

“I like you too, you know.”

Doyoung giggled once they detached themselves from one another, enjoying the stunned look on Johnny’s face that slowly broke into a grin.

ღ

“Shirt off, now.”

Doyoung said hotly, pressing himself against Johnny. Johnny let out a low chuckle, trying to keep Doyoung from ripping his shirt off.

“Can’t you believe you only had your first kiss a couple months ago,” Johnny said by Doyoung’s ear, enjoying how the younger visibly tensed once he felt Johnny’s hot breath. “Look at you now, not only asking for kisses, but even more than that.”

Doyoung whined, immediately losing all the strength he had in his arms, curling up in Johnny’s arms. While he wasn’t ashamed of his newly found sex drive, it always made him turn red all over and squirm whenever Johnny teased him for it. Johnny laughed as he somehow made both him and Doyoung who was a putty in his arms towards the couch, letting the younger dape himself off on top of him.

It was nice like this, to be able to sit in the comfort of their own presences. Nothing to disturb them, nowhere to go, just basking in each other’s presence while leaning in every other minute to kiss. Doyoung loved kissing Johnny, loved being kissed dumb by him; he was sure there was some kind of black magic going on, because the second Johnny’s plump, luscious lips latched onto him, Doyoung couldn’t think and the only thing he was able to do was dumbly chase for the elder’s lips, whining and pouting whenever he went too far away.

They lay there on the couch, albeit a little uncomfortable, kissing. The kissing soon turned into more, Doyoung not being able to help himself but to bite down onto Johnny’s lower lip, revelling at the gutteral sound he released. His heart fluttered when he felt Johnny’s strong arms slide down from his back to his thighs that was now straddling the taller man beneath him, getting more and more confident as he sucked onto the tip of Johnny’s tongue.

“Where,” Johnny asked when they parted for breath, “Did you learn to kiss like that?” Doyoung whined, chasing Johnny’s lips again, not being able to stop his hips from bucking forwards, wanting some pressure on his growing erection.

“You, I only ever been kissed by you,” Doyoung said hotly, trying to bring Johnny closer to him. Johnny groaned out loud, his hands immediately moving to caress Doyoung’s bare skin from the hem of his shirt, letting his boyfriend kiss him silly.

“You’re going to be the death of me.” Johnny groaned, all the while letting Doyoung have his fill.

“We’ll have to figure it out, won’t we?” Doyoung smirked, right before diving back in for more.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading till the end!!
> 
> Comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated <3


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